My Second
First Date

Against The Grain

My Second First Date With My Husband

My Second First Date With My Husband and The Things We So Often Forget

I knew my husband was planning to take me on a date tonight but I had no idea what we are doing. I knew that we would have to take separate cars so that had me baffled! Then around 10 am today, he sends me a text.

“Hey, I’m wondering if we can finally meet tonight. I love talking to you on the phone but want to take it to the next level so bad. I was thinking that if you come pick me up at my house we can go grab dinner and see what happens. I know you said you don’t want to pick me up but just give it a shot.”

After he sent me this text I knew what he was doing…he was recreating that magical moment when we first met! That moment when I understood, for the first time, “fireworks”. That moment when I looked at him and I knew!

unconditional love

Quick Back Story:

We met online and spent over a month talking and texting with each other. He happened to not have a working vehicle at the time and I had very strict dating rules for myself, one of them being no getting in a car with someone I have never met. But, he got me to break this rule. We had gotten to know each other so well over the phone we were both falling in love already with out admitting it. So, I broke one of the rules that kept me and my heart safe and I picked him up!

Anyways, as I sit here right now, typing this, I am beyond excited for tonight. He has been texting me sweet nothings all day just like he used to. He was sending me text messages almost word for word from before we met.

“Man I’m nervous. You really have a way with stirring up my stomach. Your so not like any other woman so I’m super nervous. How did I get so lucky?”

I, feeling like it’s our first date, realized I need to do my nails and find an outfit and do my makeup. These little things are often forgotten years into marriage and what a joy today has been so far! So, I am going to go get ready!

married couple date

Getting Ready For Our Date

Well, this was…interesting. I am not the size 5/7 I was when we met. I knew that and I am comfortable with that but, it hit me hard when I was getting ready. I apparently own zero jeans that fit me. They are either to big or to small. I wore dark jeans on our first date with a low heel and a black and pink shirt. At this point I am in full on character. I have been receiving sweet nothings via text all day and I was excited for our first date! So, I wanted to be dressed very similar to the way I was dressed on our first date. After trying on five pairs of jeans I sat on the bed and hit a small downward spiral. Here are some realizations I had during my pity party.

  • I have zero jeans that fit me
  • I am not as comfortable with my body as I thought I was
  • I need to get back into running
  • I needed to cry for some reason
  • I wear to many things with a stretchy waste
  • My collection of shoes have dwindled down to 5 pairs

So, I’m in this spiral of, I’m old, I’m out of shape, I don’t own jeans or shoes etc. and I say to my husband, “I don’t want to go” and he says, “okay.”

Well, his “okay” was NOT want I wanted! I wanted attention and I wanted another participant in my pity party! (Yes, this was me reverting back to those days when I was 5!) So, I sit on the bed preparing myself to just not go. About ten minutes later David sits on the bed next to me and says, “Whats wrong?” Aaaand the flood gates opened. I cried and let it all out. He listened as patiently as ever, then grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes and said,

“Honey, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You are more beautiful today than the day I met you. But, if you don’t want to go out, I understand and there will be no hard feelings. I can go pick up food and we can just chill at home and have dinner. I can always ask you out on our first date another time when you are having a better day. I love you babe, it’s whatever you want.”

Then he walked away. Now my thoughts went a whole new direction and I had brand new realizations:

  • First of all, time to put my big girl pants back on
  • My husband knew exactly what he was doing when he said okay and allowed me to collect my thoughts before helping me deal with them
  • My husband is, in fact, the most amazing man alive
  • I am different from when we first met and not only is that okay, it’s a positive
  • My husband loves me very much, through any body changes and even through my crazy
  • I needed to get ready for this date

So, I drop the idea of getting dressed for now. I put on a full face of makeup. Foundation, concealer, contour, everything! I throw my hair up in a messy bun and told the kids to get ready to go to mimi’s (my mom). Then I secretly pack a bag with a dress, 3 pairs of shoes and 2 drawers from my jewelry box and told David goodbye. The plan at this point is to take the kids to my mom’s and pick David up from home after, just like I did on our first date.

I get to my mom’s, change into my dress, pick shoes, steal some of her jewelry, put my hair down and I was ready! At this point David thinks I am going to show up in some stretchy black pants and a messy bun but, he doesn’t care! The whole time I am gone he is texting me letting me know how nervous he is, how excited he is to finally meet me and he even texted me our address hehehe… At this point my mom is in character too! She is asking me for his name, date of birth, description and drivers license number! So fun!

second first date

I leave my moms and I call David. On our first date I called him and talked to him on my way there to ease my nerves a bit. So, I decided to call him and told him I was nervous and almost there. I pulled up to the drive way and he was outside waiting for me. I jump out of the car and he stopped dead in his tracks to look me up and down. He gave me a tight hug and told me I was absolutely beautiful. At this point we end the, we are just meeting game so he could give me a kiss, take the drivers seat and have normal conversations. He LOVED my little add on idea of changing at my mom’s and surprising him with a dress! To sum up the rest of the night, we ended up at the same restaurant that we went to on our first date but we opted to go to the closer one instead of driving to the original location. We had AMAZING conversation at dinner. So often our dates end up being full of conversation about the kids and work, tonight was totally different. It was real date conversation filled with back and forth ideas and opinions! Then we decided it would be okay to skip the bowling and pool aspect from our real first date. We are older now and we wanted to go home. We realized the only reason we did those things on our first date was because we didn’t want to leave each other. Luckily, we are married now so we didn’t have to use the date as an excuse to stay together.

Today, I learned a few things!

At first I really thought this date was just a cute idea…it was so much more than that! I learned a lot today.

  1. As a married couple we easily forget what kind of effect cute text messages to each other can have on you and we stop doing it.
  2. Too many of our dates end up mini bitch sessions about the kids, work, etc. instead of just letting it all go and having real conversations.
  3. As a wife, I so easily take advantage of the fact that David loves me with or without makeup, no matter what I am wearing. This causes me to very often neglect the act of doing a little extra make up and putting on something a little nicer for our dates. I mean, he is so worth the extra work!
  4. Our marriage is strong, we have been through so much and no way would one little pity party ruin anything for us, he wouldn’t allow it!
  5. I remembered just how grateful I am to be married to a man who loves me, loves to make me happy and will stand by me no matter what happens!

All in all, this was a lot of fun and an eye opener for both of us. It opened our hearts to a place we so easily and so often forget. A few years into marriage we end up in this rut of day to day life and we get so busy doing life that sometimes we forget to live life. Tonight our strong, unconditional love turned back to that vulnerable love you have in the beginning. That love that gives you butterflies and makes you breathless. All though we will quickly, and thankfully, snap back to the feelings of that unconditional, strong as rock love that God tied up in a knot never to be broken, it was fun to go back to that vulnerable place again, if even for just a moment.thank you for being my everything

I love you David, thank you for being my leader, my strength when I am weak, my calm when I am angry, my sane when I am crazy, my everything I need…and then some!


~Laura Wright

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

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This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

My second, first date with my husband, what I learned and why it is a must do!
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My second, first date with my husband, what I learned and why it is a must do!
My second, first date with my husband and what I learned! This is a must do date for married couples!
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Living Wright
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