Against The Grain
This is a letter I wrote on a gofundme page 12 months ago…Since then there have been many more ups and downs, but it all still rings true today. Reading this letter reminds me that it is my duty, as a christian, to love his daughters mother anyways….
Its working…..your ploys are a success. Im watching my husband struggle everyday of his life. He misses his daughter, he cries, he’s angry, he’s resentful, he’s upset.
This is the hardest thing I have ever been subject to watching.
Twice now McKenzie has now been told by her father, “Ill see you tomorrow” and that didn’t happen. This means to a child of her age that daddy doesn’t love me and daddy is a liar, I must not be good enough for him. If you think the only person you are hurting is David you are dead wrong.
My children don’t understand why they can’t see their sister. We shelter them from your tactics because we don’t want them to tell their sister the ugly truth in the future.
You have succeeded. I hope you are happy with your actions because they have worked. He is hurt, he is broken.
Thankfully, he is also an amazing father who will never ever give up on his daughter. He will endure the pain for McKenzie’s sake. When she is older and sees the truth she will need him even more than she does now.
For now, we humble ourselves and play your games because in our house, the children are number one. We will never tell McKenzie who’s fault it is that she isn’t with her daddy, but she will unfortunately see it on her own as she gets older. But we will never feed her the information and when she does see it, we will explain that mommy just didn’t know what she was doing and that mommy loves you very much.
Why? Because McKenzie is number one and we are all willing to take the brunt of your games to protect that innocent child that you have decided is a weapon to use at your disposal.
How is this best for McKenzie? ITS NOT! What is best for her? A mommy and a daddy. You can lie to yourself all you want but it doesn’t change the facts.
David is hurt though, you win in that aspect! The sad thing, your daughter is losing….We pray everyday that your eyes would be open.
We forgive you, we strive to love you through this, which is very hard as you are using a child as a pawn in your sick games.
We continue to convince ourselves that you just don’t understand what you are doing, you can’t understand. I believe that you love your daughter so there is no way you understand the damage you are causing.
This is why we strive to love you through this and we wake up forgiving you everyday in hopes that one day you will see it and we can all be friends again.
David has jumped through all of your hoops. Every hoop he jumps through for you give him less and less time with his daughter.
You don’t financially support her – Started sending you $300 per month before any support order was issued.
You aren’t consistent – Called every single day
You are not sober – took a hair follicle test that goes back 6-12 months to prove sobriety
You don’t sacrifice for her – Drives to Minnesota three times in 4 months and spends every penny on his daughter
Your wife and kids cant be around – agrees to leave us at home….
What is the outcome? NO phone calls anymore, NO visitation time all weekend while we are in Minnesota a very short time, NO communication.
You leave your daughter with us for long visits then decide you don’t like it and you rip her away from her daddy to please yourself.
Should he stop jumping through hoops? Every time he does, you take one more thing away!
Do you really think he will never have any custody over her? You’re crazy if you think that! A little girl needs her daddy! Not just the boyfriend that acts like her daddy but her REAL daddy!
You’re games are terrible and they are working! You are effectively beginning to break down our family. Lucky for us, we have God on our side and we will never break and we will never give up.
My kids sacrifice the skating rink and going out to dinner and the fair. Why? Because we spend every single extra dollar we have to pay for things that you have deemed necessary for McKenzie to have a father. Court, mediators, lawyers, travel.
We know that a father and daughter are meant to be together so we do sacrifice, all for McKenzie.
Thankfully this is in the hands of the judge now and your control will be lost. Thankfully McKenzie is young enough that if your eyes are opened soon, she won’t ever have to be subject to the games being played.
You don’t like how David “treats you”. Get over it! Its not about you!
We all know that David has said things that may not be the nicest, but we all also know that for the most part, he has been good too. Making you dinner, giving you our car, paying for things for you when we are all together.
He is human and when you use his daughter as a weapon, emotions will run and he will fight! Yes, he will say things he shouldn’t now and then, get over it! This is about McKenzie and you know how good he is to her, you told me your self.
I know that when people spend this much time making someone else suffer, it is because of deep pain in their own life. Whatever that pain is, I pray for you.
My prayer is only that McKenzie gets what is best for her.
We love you and we continue to forgive you…..
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