The Role of the
Christian Wife

Against The Grain

The Role of the christian wife

Relationships – What we teach our children Part 2 – The role of the christian wife

roles of a christian wife

Here is another post that I am sure I will catch some heat for…after posting about respecting my husband there were a few people that were less impressed with the idea of respecting your man! I stand by my belief in the Bible and all that God has done for us! So, I’m moving on with part 2, The role of the christian wife!

First a quick overview of the roles God has given woman in the marriage:

  1. Care for our family
  2. Care for our home
  3. Be a helper to your husband
  4. Respect your husband
  5. Love your husband
  6. Submit to your husband

This list is an overview of our roles as a christian wife, not of who we are called to be. I will be writing a post about that soon!

Now I’m going to break down each item in the list and try to clear up any confusion that makes people believe that woman would be oppressed if they followed the bible or that woman are unimportant or less important according to the bible. Its not true!

The bible has given man and woman very specific roles, both of equal importance. Us woman are 100% equal to men, we just have different roles. This post will only talk about the role of the wife but I promise you, the husband has roles of his own!

I love what  says in her article, 5 Marks Of A Biblical Wife:

Women struggle with many different areas, but being lazy in your home and also being too busy and out of the home often can lead to a wife who isn’t fulfilling her role in this area. This is not to say that women should only be in the home, nor is it to say that they should never work outside of the home. As my husband always says, don’t hear what I’m not saying. What I am saying is this: a wife’s primary responsibility is their home. ~Jamie Balmet

Like she said, hear what I AM saying, don’t hear what I am NOT saying!

  1. Care for your family –  Proverbs 31:15, 21-22, 26-27: 15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants. 21 She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all in her household are doubly clothed. 22 She makes her own bed coverings; all her clothing is fine linen and purple. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.  27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
    1. We are called to take care of our family, feed them and be sure that everyone has what they need, even if it means waking up before everyone.
    2. We are called to be sure our family is clothed…laundry, folding, ironing.
    3. We are called to use loving instruction when raising our children and speaking to our husbands
    4. We are called to move around the house. We should have daily duties so we can move around each room of the house throughout the day and be sure things are taken care of, showing our family that we are present in life with them.
  2. Care for your home – Proverbs 31:22 She makes her own bed coverings; all her clothing is fine linen and purple.
    1. We are called to make our own bed coverings and wear fine, purple linen…no, we don’t have to learn how to sew or wear purple. This is saying that we called to furnish and decorate our home showing off its beauty even if we don’t have much to show off. We will choose to represent our self and our family as someone who appreciates and loves what we have.
    2. We are to keep our house clean and in good shape.
  3.  Be a helper to your husband – Genesis 2:18, 23: 18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” 23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man.
    1. We are called to help our husbands…no I did not say be less than, I only said to help him.
    2. Some daily task that are considered helping: laundry, paying bills, make the bed, plan dinner, listen to his problems, listen to his desires etc…
    3. Back him up when he disciplines the kids….always! Disagreements can be spoken about in another room at another time!
    4. Back him up in public…always!
    5. There are so many ways you can help your husband everyday!
  4. Respect your husband – Ephesians 5:33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.
    1. I promise you respecting your husband is not a bad thing! I go deeper into this in my post called, Why Obeying My Husband Is Not A Bad Thing.
    2. Our husbands need to be listened to.
    3. They need companionship.
    4. They need to be needed.
  5. Love your husband –  Titus 2:4: So they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children.
    1. Our husbands (and everyone) need unconditional acceptance! That means, loving him even you are not feeling loved. Don’t set conditions on your love, give it freely! If God set conditions on his love for us, we would all be screwed!
    2. Be committed to him.
    3. Do not withhold sex! Seriously, it’s in the bible!
    4. Praise him and thank him.
  6. Submit to your husband – Colossians 3:18 Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
    1. Okay, calm down…I know submit is a word that bothers so many people. Take a minute to read more about why submission is not what it sounds like!
    2. Submission does not mean you are inferior to your husband, you are still an equal to him. However, his role is to lead the family which means your role is to submit to his leadership.
    3. Submission does not equal blind obedience. The bible covers in length the role of the husband to listen to us and our opinions. The bible does not instruct us to obey our husband when he is instructing you to do something against His word.
    4. We are called to submit voluntarily to our husbands.
    5. Ask him for his opinions.
    6. Do not attempt to “train him”, we are only to train our children.
    7. If the two of you disagree on a decision you are making, be okay with him having the final word.
    8. Don’t talk badly about him to other people. Leave these discussion to be had between the two of you or in counseling.
    9. Ask him how you can help.
    10. Be willing to admit when you are wrong.
    11. Be willing to apologize.
    12. There are so many ways to show respect, the list goes on and on.

There are so many great books to read about being a Christian Wife!





I love this analogy from Family Life:

If you have ever sewn a dress, or attempted to sew one, you know how a pattern works. The pattern is made of many pieces, some large and some small, none of which accurately resembles the finished product.

When you lay out the pattern and cut the cloth, you do not have a garment but only some scraps of cloth. When it is properly assembled and made usable with buttons, a zipper, or snaps, these pieces make a complete dress.

Every pattern has pairs of parts: two sleeves, two bodice pieces, a front and back skirt, and even the collar and facing pieces are usually in twos. A marriage is very similar. God has designed a master pattern for husbands and wives that when followed will create a whole, usable, beautiful marriage.

In the same way a dress can be made in a variety of sizes and colors with numerous differences in detail from one pattern, so my marriage may look different from yours. As we acknowledge Christ as Lord of our lives, we must work out our marriages according to God’s plan. The key is for each wife to follow God’s plan, know her part, and work to fit in with her husband’s responsibilities. ~© 2002 by FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.

I know this may seem like a lot and I am certainly not where I want to be, but don’t beat yourself up over it, I don’t! I just allow God to continue to grow me so I can learn to be closer to Him as he works on me!

What did I miss? Let me know in the comments! Also, be on the look out for the mans roles in marriage!


This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

The Role of the christian wife - 6 things God wants you to do
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The Role of the christian wife - 6 things God wants you to do
6 things God wants you to do. Care for our family, Care for our home, Be a helper to your husband, Respect your husband, Love your husband, Submit to your husband
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Living Wright
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One thought on “The Role of the christian wife”

  • I love this article!! I am a little cynical, but only about other people’s beliefs. I think people don’t like this article because they disagree with the truth in the bible. Thanks for breaking down submission. It seems like it is a dirty word to the majority of people out there.

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