Sex Before Marriage taught me a few things...sex makes babies, premartial sex hurts my self-esteem, sex is worth waiting for marriage, teach yours kids to wait!
Against The Grain
Me and my husband teach our kids that sex is for married couples only. I know, I know, its absurd….unrealistic….not the way of the world, right? Why? Why are there so many people against this idea that we should share our most private actives with our spouse? If this idea is something you don’t believe in, what are you teaching your children? Are you simply just ignoring the issue or are you having talks with them about how they need to have multiple sex partners before they get married? Or maybe the age old, you have to try it before you buy it…what are parents teaching their kids if they don’t believe that sex belongs only in marriage?
I’m not going to pretend that I waited for marriage because I didn’t. But, it was never offered to me as an option either. I was raised with condom and birth control awareness! I don’t blame my parents for my short comings of course, I take full responsibility for my actions. But, you could almost say I was given permission…right? Of course, I am thankful for how everything went down because I was blessed with two beautiful children, but things could have been a lot easier on me if I waited!
At a certain age I was told about condoms and birth control and STDs and how to “be careful”. Not that all of these talks served their purpose…I did get pregnant at 16! So, what do I do about it now? I live, I learn, I teach!
Quick summary about the last 15 years of life regarding sex before marriage
Sounds fun right! Thank God for the try it before you buy it saying or I might have married my ex….oh wait, I did, and go figure, marriage is not about sex! I dont know about you but this is not what I want my kids to have to go through.
Let do a quick summary on my kids life regarding this situation:
Okay, I could go on and on and on about the weird situations we end up in! But the point is, I don’t want my grand-kids to have these same questions!
I want to make it clear that I am in no way complaining. My life rocks and I am happy to have my children and my step daughter, but it took a lot to get to this place. All of this confusion can be easily avoided by simply saving sex for your spouse!!! Seems so simple…my kids have decided to wait, but I know that it is something we have to continue to teach because the world no longer teaches the idea of sex being something special made for you and your spouse only.
My kids do deal with a lot of confusion and they feel the pain from a very blended family, if anyone could find the strength to wait for marriage, it is them!
Here is a fun fact…when I married the person God told me to marry, sex became very different. Sex with your spouse, while God is in charge of your relationship, is like nothing else! Him and I could not believe the difference, as if we were on higher ground, a literal cloud 9 all of the sudden in our intimate life. It is so worth the wait when you allow God to lead you!
So, the most important part, what does the bible say about this topic?
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV : For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV : But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
The bible lets us know that our flesh is weak, we will be tempted, get married so you can give into the temptation of sex, without sinning! The bible then goes on to talk about the beauty of sex between husband and wife. Have you ever read the song of Solomon? Its a very intimate book right in the middle of the bible! Something to remember, the bible does not talk about sex in a positive way one single time when it is outside of marriage!
How do I move on knowing all of the sexual sins of my past?
One of my favorite websites, Focus On The Family, talks about a few misconceptions about Premarital sex…its a great article! In that article they said:
1 John 1:9 promises that if you confess your sins, that He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Note: This includes all sin, and does not exclude sexual sin. Psalm 103: 12 also promises, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions [sins] from us.”
In addition to forgiveness, God wants you to embrace His grace that will help you move forward in life and embrace the promises He has for you with joy. In spite of your choices, God wants to bring you relational fulfillment.
For those of you against this idea, guess what I learned from having sex before marriage:
The point is, teach your kids to wait…give them the chance to take the path less traveled, the most rewarding option, the hard thing!
~Laura Wright
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